Having slight wedding anxiety? Here’s the truth about wedding jitters and how to get past them.
I want to start this post by stating that slight wedding jitters and cold feet are NOT THE SAME THING and I have no doubts in my mind about marrying Jay. I want this to be an honest post about my experience of wedding nerves and anxiety, but don’t want anyone to think that I’m having anxiety about the person I’m marrying.
In my opinion, wedding jitters are anxiety about the wedding day itself: will anything go wrong, do all the suppliers know what they’re doing, will people like my dress, do I like my dress? Most wedding jitters are completely irrational. Of course I love my dress, I know that I do, I woudn’t have bought it otherwise. Yet something (really annoying) is in my head trying to persuade me otherwise.
This post will explain the truth about wedding jitters and why they’re okay and honestly completely normal.
Why you’ve got jitters
So to solve the problem you’ve got to find the root cause of your anxiety. Mine was my wedding stationary. I knew this because once I sorted it all (placecards, menus, table plan) my worries almost completely disappeared. To be getting so much anxiety over one small thing is ridiculous, but if you pile one thing on top of another, of course it’s going to get too much.
I decided to save money and make all of my stationary. My DIY invitations came in at under £100. My menus and table plan are being designed by my sister. I’m sorting my own Order of Service instead of going through a company to make them. Although this has saved us money, it’s added so much stress on myself.
Common Causes of Wedding Anxiety
Weddings are expensive so it’s not surprising if at some point you panic about the budget or how much you’ve spent.
No one has a straight forward family anymore. We’ve all got divorced family members, family members that have remarried and the straight up weird family members that no one ever sees or talks to. Just invite who you want there and don’t worry about upsetting people. It’s YOUR DAY (don’t know how many times people have said that to me since I’ve been planning).
- Your dress
As I said before, I’m having anxiety over my dress. Partly because it’s an ex-stock dress so it’s a size 16, whereas I’m a 6-8. I’m so anxious about it because I’ve got to have about 6 inches taken off it! As long as you felt that it was ‘The One’ when you first put it over your head, you’ll still love it on your big day.
- The weather
The UK is far too unpredictable to rely on the weather. If you’re worried about rain, do what you can to make sure it doesn’t matter. Ask the venue to provide umbrellas. Have alternative indoor entertainment as well as outdoor.
How to get rid of your jitters
Once you’ve discovered the source of your wedding anxiety, it’s time to sort it out.
One thing I swear by is making a list. Make a list of everything you’ve got to do in the next week, or a list of appointments in the next month. This will help you to see everything more clearly, and take one step at a time.
Discuss things with your partner. They might have some good suggestions, things that you’ve never thought of.
Finally, take some time for you. Don’t let the wedding take over your life (like I have). Sometimes you need to take a week off where you don’t have any appointments and don’t send any emails. This will give you a clear head the next time you come back to the wedding planning.
I panicked so much when I started getting anxious. I don’t mean just worrying about the wedding, but every time I thought about it, I didn’t want to go ahead with it. Again let me clarify, this wasn’t because I didn’t want to marry Jay. I was just getting so stressed with the wedding that it’s like my brain was telling me to give up. Every time I thought about the stupid menu or the table plan I just wanted to cry.
This feeling only lasted for around two weeks, and I’ve had no other kinds of nerves in the two years we’ve been engaged and planning the wedding. I need to be in control, and I’m having to put a lot of trust into my suppliers, so I’m struggling to let go.
The jitters do come and go, and the more organised I get and the nearer to the wedding we come, the less nervous I’m getting and excitement is starting to kick in. Remember to enjoy your planning. It is an exciting time, although it doesn’t always feel like it.
So there’s my raw truth about wedding jitters. They’re absolutely normal and nothing to worry about if they only last a few short weeks.