Ignore unwanted wedding advice: it’s YOUR day

In order for you to have the best day, you need to ignore unwanted wedding advice.

Your wedding day is just that: your day. It can be difficult trying to knuckle down to the planning when you have Uncle Jeff saying he can’t wait to see Barbara — who isn’t invited.

Or when your Nanny wants to see your list of hymns for the church, but you’re not having hymns.

Trying to please everyone is impossible, so don’t even attempt it. There’s been many times in my own planning process where I’ve had to go away and think about things.

  • I’ve had people asking if I’m doing [X] when I’m not.
  • I’ve had people say that they don’t like certain aspects of a wedding dress, when my dress has said aspects.
  • I had people requesting certain foods and drinks! Erm…excuse me, do you want to pay for this wedding?

If you want a Cinderella themed wedding on a beach, then do it!

ignore unwanted wedding advice and have the dress you want.

Top Tip: Ignore unwanted wedding advice!

I haven’t told any of them the home truths, but just kind of agreed at the time. “Oh yes we’ve already picked out our hymns”, when we’re not having them.

Weddings are expensive anyway, never mind when you start adding extras to make other people happy. I’m not having hymns because I’ve spent nearly £400 on a string duo, and would need to spend another £100 for an organ.

Everyone dislikes hymns: no-one knows the ones you pick, no one likes to sing them and the singing is always out of tune. Someone did exclaim, ‘OH, are you having the choir?” No, because the choir costs another £100. So basically, if I wanted hymns, I would be forking out £200.

I went to a christening recently, and the service was quick and easy, no hymns, in and out, onto the reception. Isn’t that what everybody wants?

I’ll actually be able to relax once the service is done, that’s the most nerve wracking bit. I’ll be panicking about falling over my dress up the aisle on the way out!

You should, however, listen to advice if that person is paying. Wedding etiquette and all that. My Grandma is paying for the cake, so I wanted her to be happy too. She’s invited to all the design and tasting appointments. So far, no complaints. Though she probably just wants me to have what I want.

So, do ignore unwanted wedding advice because it is unwanted. I’m not listening to everyone’s suggestions about what colours I should have, what flavours the cake should be, or what earrings I should wear. I’m doing my day my way. Because it is just that: YOUR day.

Check out this piece for more info on what sort of ‘advice’ to ignore.

5 Things to Consider When Planning a Wedding

Planning a wedding is one of the most fun, exhilarating and frustrating things I’ve ever done.

It’s both stressful and rewarding at the same time. When you think about it, planning a wedding is basically planning a party for over 100 people. Which is probably something you’ve never done before.

There’s so much to think about, but before you can start shopping for your dream dress on Pinterest, you need to think of the depressing stuff.

Budget

Everything about your big day comes down to the budget. But you need to know your budget before you can start looking at venues. You can’t have a wedding on a £10k budget if the wedding venue costs £8,000. It’s impossible to do the rest of the wedding on a £2k budget, unless you want one candle, a £20 cake from Tesco and some sausage rolls to feed your guests. If that’s what you want, then perfect! But make a realistic budget.

Some people think my wedding planning spreadsheet is a bit much, but not when there’s so much to organise!

It’s split into small sections. I’ve estimated the amount I will spend in the left column, and then tracked the actual amount I’ve spent on the right. The above example is the Decor section. I also have Apparel, Reception do, Photos/Videos, Ceremony, Stationary and Miscellaneous.

It then adds the whole spreadsheet  together to give an estimated vs. actual total.

Location

The location is the next most important thing to think about, because it sets the tone for the whole wedding. I’ve gone for a traditional manor house in Cheshire but this means I can’t really go for a beach theme as it won’t suit. Think about your style and whether you want classic or modern, traditional or not, formal or informal, etc.

planning a wedding advice

Thornton Manor, Cheshire

Guest List

Obviously, all of the three priorities above link together. If you have a very large family, and want a large, traditional location, you’ll need a very large budget to match. If you go for a grand manor house, but only invite 50 guests, the place will feel empty. Work out how many people will be attending before you start planning the wedding. And then work out the cost it will take to feed them. I was SHOCKED at my catering bill for 80 people in the daytime, and 130 at the evening do. If you can’t afford to feed them all, you can’t invite them all.

A smaller number of people works well in a hotel or barn. For lots of wedding guests, go for a manor house or a large marquee.

Food

And talking of feeding guests, it’s worthwhile thinking ahead to what you will feed them. Many people these days are choosing the informal buffet or hog roast option because it’s cheaper. However, I wanted a traditional 3-course, sit down meal. These sorts of choices all come back to budget, but also what you want.

P.S. Remember that children cost a LOT less.

planning a wedding - food

Photo courtesy of Barretts Caterers

 

Theme, Style or Colours

These three depend on your venue. As I said before, you can’t really go for a manor house wedding and then choose to have a beach theme. Well you could, technically you can do anything, but would it work?

You should choose these well in advance. Colour can affect the type of flowers you have, the bridesmaids dresses, the colours on the invites or on the cake. It’s also best to pick a style for this reason too. Otherwise the invites will go out in a lace style, and then you might end up with no lace on your wedding day. It’s a minor point, but one to think about.

So there’s my long list! Wow, that was a long post. I hope that helps anyone currently planning a wedding.

Is there another priority you would add to the list?